HOLLOW WIENER DEFINITION: A HALLOWE'EN HUMBUGGER

I was slightly haunted this morning by a couple of doggie drawings that I drew for my complicated friend, Robin, quite some time ago.  She just moved into new digs (on Hallowe’en) and decidedly put these pet portraitures on display alongside a picture of her television crush, John Barrowman, who played Captain Jack Harkness in the Doctor Who television series.  I suppose I should be honored considering my complicated friend has traveled afar to actually meet John Barrowman in the flesh at Fan Expos in Calgary and Saskatoon.  In Calgary she slapped his backside.  “Too bad he’s gay,” she said.

HALLOWE’EN is a contraction for ALL HALLOW’S EVENING, that evening we are determinedly dedicated to remembering the saints and martyrs and those faithful who have departed.  Factoids:  We, too, will depart. We are accursed -- We are all doomed to die.  We are a-go-go then a-no-go.  None of us, save for the vampires, are of amaranthine existence.

HALLOWE’EN revolves around the theme of employing humor to confront DEATH, though we all know that DEATH cares nothing of our present or future plans, whether they be sad or funny.

In our Hallowe’en history we originally wore costumes to stave off ghosts and demons.  In our recent history we don costumes only to make Hallowe’en fun.  

Traditionally, we wear costumes that are modeled after supernatural figures such as vampires, ghosts, skeletons, witches, devils, werewolves, zombies, and other monsters.  Or we wear the fusty costumes from the popular characters of modern fiction, Spider-man, Superman, Batman for example; or those characters who are real people posing as Hollywood celebrities. 

KIM THE GOOD WITCH

   

The most popular costumes this year, again, were peeled off the movie screen. Maleficent was big. Elsa was bigger.

Lots of readers would know that Hallowe’en masks often hold the answer to who will be the next American president (this even according to The Huffington Post)! On October 31st this year I saw Barack Obama at a Western Hockey League game (even though constitutionally he is not eligible to run again.)

Lots of readers would also know that dressing up in costume anytime is really a PROJECTIVE PSYCHOLOGY of sorts.  Dressing up as someone else is really to discover who we really are, or even better, who we really want to be!

Alas, I do regret not dressing up in costume this Hallowe’en.  Unlike most my workmates, I dress up lots, not on Hallowe'en.  When I busk in summer I dress as an Americana Bobby Dylan wannabee, complete with the messy hair, white T, faded jeans, and steel-toed work boots. Before this folksy singer-songwriter phase, I was usually in the garb of a Western Cowboy.  

However, much to my own chagrin and my imaginary peer pressure from colleagues, I did not dress up in costume this Hallowe'en.  As HUMBUG is to XMAS, in the ilk of Grinch and Scrooge -- I was a HOLLOW WIENER to this HALLOWE'EN!

HUMBUGGERS DON’T LIKE XMAS – HOLLOW WIENERS DON’T LIKE HALLOWE’EN.

Take heed from my lesson of regret:  


DON’T BE A HOLLOW WIENER – WEAR A COSTUME.  

(If you don’t wear a costume you won’t be participating in the Hallowe’en fun, including the Hallowe'en march for treats -- the best candies this year being gummy bears and bubble gum, jolly ranchers and candy corn, gumdrops and jellybeans!)

This is ink-horn terminology I know… but it’s all I got.

BRIT AS ELSA

CHRIS THE SPACEMAN

THE HOLLOW WIENER

 

KIM THE BAD WITCH