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| AT THE CURE |
My blog title today is my new mid-section mantra: Seven pounds
until summer: sumer is icumen in with
six-pack abs. This “Sumer is icumen in” is
from my university English Medieval Literature days: The Cuckoo Song (W. de
Wycombe, 1261).
Note, dear reader, that I am not stating the obvious
pun of Middle Ages and my mid-section because I am no longer
middle-aged, and therefore no longer burdened with a middle-aged mid-section. Alas,
and certainly not by my design, I have become a senior citizen with a
noticeably bulging mid-section. (I only mentioned
my mid-section along with Middle Ages as my tactical employment of “apophasis,”
that literary device that allows me the pleasure of mentioning something by
saying I will not mention it. For example, dear readers, I will not remind you
that I am a very gifted busker both with my pencil and guitar. Such bragging is not endearing to anyone in
my reading audience.) So, saying this, “seven
pounds until summer, and sumer is icumen in with six-pack abs” shall begrudgingly
suffice. Busking outside in the sunshine
wearing blue jeans and white t-shirt, looking good (physically) becomes my
signature costume. Enacting this
alterity becomes my busking persona.
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| BUSKING IN 2016 |
Summer is, indeed, coming in and I think, too, so are my imaginary thorax six-pack abs soon becoming my reality. I claim to be neither an authority on food nor fitness. Nope. I am not a nutritionist – I am a foodie; I am not a fitness trainer – I am a fitness freak. Being quite into fitness since the early ‘70s, I know for me that weight loss can be accomplished through better eating habits than by better fitness habits.
You need to burn 3500 calories to lose one pound of
weight. To burn 3500 calories demands
physical and psychological exercise. Here is the skinny on calories and weight
loss. For example: Ten thousand steps
will burn 500 calories. Ten thousand
steps per day for one week (500 calories X 7 = 3500 calories) will burn one
pound of body weight. That is a lot of
walking!
*A disclaimer at this point is necessary: Not that an exercise regimen should not be
included in any weight loss, I am just stating that weight loss by design ought
to begin with a change-up of eating behaviors.
I shall repeat: Weight loss can be accomplished
through better eating habits than by better fitness habits. Deciding to
count and document my daily calories should curb my enthusiasm for
gormandizing. I am convinced that the
skinny of weight loss is to adopt better eating habits, and that means
consuming fewer calories until gaining the desired weight loss. The Harvard
Health Guide (Harvard University) offers a trick to measure the
necessary daily caloric intake to maintain a person’s body weight:
Simply multiply your body weight by 15.
For me then, 172 pounds X 15 = 2580 calories per
day.
I am dangerously determining that weight loss can
easily be calculated by likening my body to a bank, and then monitoring a caloric
bank-body account, so to speak. To keep
my weight as is, I need to consume 2580 calories per day. Depositing more than 2580 calories daily into
my body account will result in a weight gain, whereas, depositing fewer
calories into my body account will result in a weight loss. I guess we shall soon see!
MARCH 21ST
On this first full day of spring, upon wakening at
5:30 A.M. I carried on my morning coffee ritual. I sipped an Americano coffee (15
cal) and then a cappuccino (55 cal) while reading the latest news (CNN, Huffington
Post, Al Jazzera, NBC, ABC, and even FOX) on my
iPhone. Typically, I after following the
newsfeeds, I ten-minute a bout of French with Duolingo, a scroll through my
Instagram, and I close with the today obituaries. At 10:30ish I drank two glasses of water and one
cup of hot chocolate (200 cal) and chomped two bananas (200 cal). Lunchtime I consumed one bowl of lettuce
salad (20 cal) and three very small barbequed chicken breasts (300 cal). Suppertime, I devoured two bowls of hamburger
stew (200 cal), along with two thinly buttered dinner buns, and an hour later followed
by a Tim Hortons London Fog (150 cal). I
had a protein shake (110 cal) for a nightcap.
Total calories = 1435
Weight today: 172.0 pounds
MARCH 22ND
5:30 A.M. I read the blah blah Trump news on my iPhone
while sipping two cups of Americano coffee (30 cal). At 8:00 A.M. I drank a Tim Hortons medium
size hot chocolate (200 cal) and at 10:00 A.M. had a banana (100 cal). Lunchtime I helped myself to two slices of
French toast poured over with a thimbleful of syrup (500 cal). Suppertime I had two slices of hamburger
pizza (600 cal), washed down with a fruit smoothie (150 cal). An hour later I gulped down a London Fog (150
cal), and just before bed I munched two bowls of plain nachos smothered in
salsa (600 cal) while watching Ted Lasso on the telly.
Total calories = 2330
Weight today: 170.0 pounds
(So far so good!)
MARCH 23RD
5:30 A.M. Caught up on my Instagram while sipping two
cappuccinos (110 cal). At work I quaffed
a hot chocolate (150 cal) and skipped the usual banana. Lunchtime I ate two small bowls of chile (500
cal) washed down with two cups of cold Adam’s Ale. Instead of supper I had a London Fog from Tim
Hortons (150 cal) and later on a bowl of dried apricots (500 cal), two bowls of
plain nachos with salsa (600 cal), all of which washed down with a chocolate
protein drink (170 cal).
Total calories = 2180
Weight today: 169.0 pounds
(Hmmm. Getting there …)
All of this above is not an Aesopian tale. This blog entry has no hidden meaning or
message. Regarding this food-stand (pun intended), I must proclaim that I am
not your pedestrian-thinking mugwamp! (A mugwamp is one who is
undecided. A mugwamp is one who
is a fence-sitter, whose mug is on one side and whose wump is on
the other!)
The skinny of my seven – pound weight loss proposal is
simply this: In my typical narcissistic fashion,
I do not want to ever experience the social stigma of being the old guy with
the skinny arms and the paunch. Rather, I do want to be and only want to be (my
narcissism exposed) that guy with the six-pack abs!
And based upon my personal empirical evidence, to
become that guy with the six-pack abs, I need to cut the junk food.
NO MORE CHIPS + NO MORE CHOCOLATE
= SIX-PACK ABS!
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