Following are my band mate's notes left for me to look at while
drinking coffee at Atlantis. My band mate is Drummer and he has Schizophrenia.
First perfect write is
symbolic of DE from Live going 2 on rest who at forces growing religion from
way after fit all fore water the light departed dust souls dirt shadow star our
Bones style now here when righteous file won mile Brain pray existence activate.
Why worlds doorman
entity of humanity realizes towards above stretches far away treasure secrets
remove masked destinies sure magical wishes within shape Making words reality
licks wipe out mouth color important as a tornado twisting of powerful before
you rude crude evader future throw away spitting souls fire striking over done
now questions mystery no answers mumblers for target faster dominates through
divider Truce Guest beyond timeless factors becausing to store victories
laughter in conclusion 2 gay witness gods worship tasty forevernous Legendary
atheist scriptures away Believe throne water.
According to the medics and academics, the notion of exhibiting
a split personality by those suffering from Schizophrenia is a myth. But is it
really? A myth, that is?
I think not.
Drummer scribbled these notes (above) when he was raddled
and clearly not himself. When Drummer is
himself, he stands tall, poised, relaxed.
He is eloquent and fun to be around.
He is an orator of reason. He is
a busker with authority. When he is not himself,
he speaks in salads, constantly rubbing his hands together, and smilingly
drifts off. These notes he left behind sound just as he speaks; they represent
a babbling fool.
(Drummer’s parents once told me that their once lovely and
lively Drummer left, a different Drummer assigned with Schizophrenia, sadly
took his place.)
Schizophrenia, in
German, translates to a split mind. And what is the difference between a split
mind and a split personality? I don’t
know.
I do know that Drummer the busker is different from the
Drummer exhibiting signs of Schizophrenia.
The Drummer with Schizophrenia truly doth becomes his doppelganger self.
A doppelganger,
another German word, translates to a double
goer.
I first heard the term,
doppelganger, from Canadian poet, Eli Mandel (1922 -1992). He was reading his works, annotations
included, and he discussed a chance meeting with his doppelganger self. He was walking ‘neath the Brooklyn Bridge in
the early 70’s. He looked up and saw a
likeness of himself waving at him. He
knew that seeing one’s doppelganger meant that he would soon die. Twenty years later he did die.
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Robert Louis
Stevenson, 1886) had a doppelganger plot.
Henry Jekyll was a quiet introverted medical doctor; whereas, his
doppelganger self was the evil and murderous, Edward Hyde. This particular plot has been replicated hundreds of suspension times since.
Metaphorically, I do suppose not on occasion, that we all
have within us a Dr. Jekyll and a Mr. Hyde.
I do suppose always that all of us have the power to bestir the beast within
ourselves.
For example, I shall pose the question: Are you the same person when you are at home compared to the person you
are at when work or at play?
In other words: Is the wife-beater at home the bully at work
and the hostile aggressor at play?
In other words: Is the hen-pecked husband at
home the door mat at work and the pine rider at play?
(Forgive me, reader, for such sexist illustrations but … I
am a guy and can illuminate more with male examples, than those female or
non-gendered.)
And now the psychological answer: The
closer you are to being consistent on all three fronts, the more likely you are
to be having harmony in your life. The
farther you are from being consistent on all three fronts, the more likely you
are to be having dissonance in your life.
Back to Drummer and his/our dilemma. The regular Drummer is an athletic and
logical epicurean. Drummer is a regular
in the weight room, and a cool calm uber-soccer player (full-back). The Drummer with Schizophrenia can be a
lethargic back-alley bin diver. Most
times though, the Drummer with Schizophrenia seemingly seems glued to the smoke
bench behind his apartment, babbling in salads with those people who are real
and those who are imaginary.
In his alterity, Drummer quite physically resembles his
antecessor, but after caffeine (from coffee, coca-cola, or energy drinks)
becomes his paranormal double goer, his doppelganger self. After just one hit of caffeine, Drummer is insane,
as compared to the rest of the ruck. The
doppelganger Drummer is a braggadocio, the best poet, the best drummer, the
best growler, the best of the best.
In his doppelganger alterity, Drummer loves baubles. The gimcracks he collects, including the snap
caps off aluminum beer cans, become trinkets extraordinary power. Drummer will attach dozens of these to his
shoe laces. The plastic carriers off the
six packs of beer cans he attaches as wristbands representing strength and
identification.
In his doppelganger alterity, Drummer is an agitated walking
jabberwocky, stopping only when he crashes.
And when he convalesces, Drummer becomes tristful in his awakenings,
shameful in his demeanor, and evangelical in his resolve. In his sobriety self, Drummer becomes synonymous
with weltschmerz.
In my CHAUCERIAN PARADE this week I have
but one serious marcher. I was busking
with my twelve-string and Blues harp in front of Shoppers when this elderly
gentleman hobbled over.
You must love God, he said, because you play such beautiful music. I love your music as much as I love my dog. He brings me such great joy, just as you now are bringing me such joy.
What’s your dog’s
name? I asked.
His formal name is
King, but I call him Baby.
A baby king, I
responded, a prince!
Yes, a prince! He replied.
And to conclude, at the header of this blog is Bobby Orr (wearing the Boston
Bruins uniform) and Bobby’s doppelganger (wearing the Chicago
Black Hawks uniform). Sadly,
Bobby’s doppelganger self, though a ghost, is now hoisting Lord Stanley’s Cup!
CONGRATULATIONS,
CHICAGO!
(NEXT YEAR, BOSTON, THAT CUP BELONGS TO
US!)
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