DON'T THINK TWICE: IT'S ALRIGHT TO THIN-SLICE

MEGAN (WHOM I'VE JUST MET AND THIN-SLICED)

How many people will you meet in a day, in a year, or in a lifetime?  With how many people are you currently acquainted? Of those acquaintances how many are meaningful and dear to you?

Englishman, Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary anthropologist has provided some numbers to these questions.  The number of people near and dear to us in our inner circle is from three to five.  The number of people who matter significantly but are just outside our sacred inner circle is 15. The number of people we see regularly, at our workplace and at routine places elsewhere is 50.  The number of people we randomly recognize on the street or in a mall or other haunts is 150.   

The number of people we are connected with on Twitter or Facebook doesn’t count.

Cap-a-pie anyone can judge a person in just one glance.  As shallow as this seems, making such a wide assessment based on such a narrow experience can be remarkably accurate.  In psychology these kinds of assessments are referred to as thin-sliced.

When initially introduced to someone you will likely notice the person’s facial expression first, be it a smile or a frown, bug eyed or bleary eyed.  You’ll notice, too, the person’s body posture, noticeably slouched or stiff or casually relaxed.  Of course there may be the gesture of a handshake, be it firm or fish or fist bump, and then you’ll notice whether the hands hardened and calloused, or soft and shapely. 

No doubt you’ll take note of the person’s garb.  Is he wearing old and worn or madras and mod?  Or maybe this person is nattily attired?  Perhaps this person sports her own signature style.

And last the shoes.  Are they shiny or scruffy?

There is a general attractiveness.  Is this person you are meeting for the very first time presenting as physically fit or fat?  Is this person a mesomorph, an ectomorph, or an endomorph?

Is this person’s hair clean and soft or unkempt and gnarly?  Is the hair coiffured or combed over.

It helps to listen.  Is this person verbose or laconic?  Is this person erudite or a troglodyte?

Saying all of this, when you initially meet someone you never really know who exactly you’re meeting.

In my favorite abecedarian fashion, I’ll offer some types of people you could meet at any given time.  You will meet the aggressive and the aloof, the belligerent and the boring, the cantankerous and the cruel, the deceitful, the domineering, the finicky, the foolhardy, the greedy and the grumpy, and so on.

Or, of course, you will also meet the aged and the adventurous, the bright and the benevolent, the compassionate, the courageous, the diligent, the daring, the empathetic and exuberant, the frank and the friendly, the generous and the gregarious and so on.

Just know that even from those you rebuff, everyone you will ever meet has the potential down the road to be more enhanced than their present condition.

You could be meeting a rock band like the Beatles, who were rejected by 3 different record companies before they signed and became famous.  You could be meeting a future comedian like Jim Carrey, who, on his first stand-up attempt in Toronto at Yuk Yuk’s, was booed off the stage.  You could be meeting a J.K. Rowling, who was on welfare when her book, Harry Potter, after being rejected 12 times, finally came into print.

Maybe you’ll meet a Stephen King, whose first novel, Carrie, was rejected 30 times; or a Walt Disney type, who was fired by his editor for “lacking imagination.”  Or it could be that you’ll meet a Colonel Sanders, who at age 62 and with only $105 in his pocket was pitching his chicken recipes to restaurants.

Remember to not be purblind.  Maybe you’ll meet a future Vincent Van Gogh, who sold only one of his original paintings during his lifetime.  Maybe you’ll meet another Robert Pirsig, whose book, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, was rejected 121 times by publishers!

You just never know.  We are all of us savants in some sort of way.

And we all have the ability to thin-slice with authority. Though admittedly sometimes it is difficult to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, you just never really know that person you are meeting.  Next time you meet a new someone, keep in mind your thin-slice could very well be a thick and personal psychological analysis.

As a didge busker I never slice (too busy blowin' in the wind); as a guitar busker I am thin-slicing all of the day (thrumming and chatting and chatting and thrumming); as a portrait busker (an ever intrusive vis-a-vis chit-chat) I tend to thicken the slices.

Most of us are thin-slicing the people we meet.  However, if we are ever soliciting friendship, looking for another to join our inner circle, to thin-slice will not suffice.  But if generally judging betwixt people good and people evil, we don’t need to think twice – 

it’s alright to thin-slice.