Sunday, May 14, 2017



We are here for celebratory reasons.  We are here to eat cake. 

In linear fashion from birth to death we celebrate any achievement as an excuse to eat cake.

On birthday celebrations we eat cake.  At weddings and wedding anniversaries, baby showers, retirement parties, and funerals we eat cake.  At Christmastime we eat cake.  And at Mother's day too. 

Happy Mother’s Day! cake today … Mmmmm.

CAKE.  Hmmm … surely our personal life mission or meaning in our allotted 70 to 80 years must be more than an Augean stable lifestyle of drinking, being merry, and eating cake.

Here is my answer for the sake of my own vanity:

We are here to procreate and propagate and eat cake.

Charles Darwin devised the Theory of Evolution that we, homo sapiens and all other life forms, evolved through genetic mutation/natural selection.

Christians and Jews believe that God manufactured two human prototypes, Adam and Eve, on the sixth day of Creation.  God’s instructions to Adam and Eve were simply to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). Even prior to Adam and Eve conceiving their first child, God kicked them out of the Garden (Genesis 3:1-24). This is known as THE FALL.

Muslims, too, believe in Adam and Eve.

These notions about life, and there are dozens more that match, propose that we are simply here for continuing the species by way of our best possible selves.  Yes … life is meant for procreation and religion is meant for procreation and propagation but … DO I HAVE MEANING?

I’m writing about the internal evolution that each of us must suffer along our personal timelines.  When I say “suffer” I am referring to the skinny of Zen (to-live-is-to suffer) and the constant human state of being in existential dread.

Hmmm … it does seem rather insulting if we are here only to procreate and propagate doesn’t it, but here it is anyway:

We are here to procreate, to continue our species.

Is it really that simple that the meaning of life so limited for all-for-naught sexual behavior? If it is so, then why would we bother to keep other behaviors in check?  We bother because we strive for our finite pettifog time on Earth to be physically and psychologically comfortable.  We, like all other mammals, continually strive to seek pleasure over pain.

We are also here to propagate.  Because we have a conscience and an awareness of our mortality, we seem to need to spread and promote that notion that being a being is an important role to play, for reasons both religious and philosophical. 

And we are here to eat cake because cake is delicious.

I really wish I had more … and so … meanwhile back at the secular ranch … here is some more:

Charles Darwin (Origin of Species, 1859) theorized that life began in a warm little pond on only the planet Earth.  Most scientists believe that our ancestry of first life forms began to evolve 2.9 billion years ago.  Now there is evidence from Australian researchers that microbes lived in hot springs as early as 3.48 billion years ago. 

This theory was expressed later and snoutly suggested (pun intended) in The Immense Journey by Loren Eiseley, 1957. 

Loren’s book used to be my bible, until I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig (1974).  But I digress ...

Well, I’ve been a few miles and I’ve seen a few things (Dan Rather) and I’ve written about these things in my blog.  My blog today is certainly represents my narrow and narcissistic view of the planet, of life in general, and of me.

It is up to me to pursue pleasure or to pursue pain. I am the one in charge (of me).  Instead of spending my life in constant existential dread, I would much rather eat cake.

Factoid:  I cannot eat cake without coffee
But eating cake makes me fat.  And we all know about being fat.

Physical fitness highly correlates to self-efficacy (Sonstroem and Morgan, 1989), and physical performance influences self-worth and physical self-worth influences performance (Marsh, Chanal, and Sarrazin, 2006).  There are literally thousands of research articles zooming in on this very topic and yet only six percent of us have gym memberships for regular fitness.

Psychology academics do insist that a perceived attractive physical self strongly determines the happiness within oneself.  In other words, if I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like me.  And yet only six percent of us take our bodies seriously enough to spend monthly payments modifying our bodies.

Factoid:  Six percent of male adults have a gym membership.

Epiphany:  All of us are concerned about our physical appearance but only six percent of us are gym goers.

Factoid:  Six percent of adults have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that excessive interest in oneself or one’s physical appearance. 

Hmmm … I toss this out for coincidence conversation only.  I do not really believe there is any correlation except for the same percentage calibration.

Hmmm … Really what I’m saying is that we only have one body and we ought to take care of it, and taking care of it will cost money.  I’m also saying that our body is the only place where we are obligated to live, and again, we ought to take care it.

If you are holding onto all the shit that has happened to you … only leads to giant tubs of ice cream, a television, and a sunken couch (John Kim, the angry therapist).

I do not ever gormandize my guilt or life regrets with junk food.  With a touch of vanity I must express that I don’t ever want to be that guy with the paunch sitting on the couch eating a pale of ice cream while watching television.  And I don’t ever want to be that guy with the paunch and fistful of nachos washing them down with beers while sitting on the couch watching television.  I am that guy, though, with a single digit body fat percentage of 9, who eats a piece of cake and sips an Americano coffee while watching the Donald Trump soap opera on CNN.

Ahhh … time now again for cake and coffee whilst appreciating those who marched in my CHAUCERIAN PARADE this week:

 While busking last Saturday I met Melanie George and her son, Corbyn ... Check out M & C CONNECTIONS (Melanie and Corbyn) on Facebook!

I saw WILLIAM SHATNER (yes, the real Captain Kirk!) pulling his carry-on while walking across Victoria Avenue at Broad Street.  I was stopped at a red light and Bill walked right in front of my RDX.  To be sure I did my research – Captain Kirk was in Regina, Canada doing a Q & A at FAN EXPO.


1 comment:

  1. Great essay Neil! Out of the 6% of men with gym memberships, I bet only 30% of those actually show up! Now.. Back to my cake...