PSYCHOLOGY BUSKING a la wordswords: MAGIC ATTRACTIONS AND MUD-RUNS: TO LIVE IS TO LOVE

MY HIKING BOOTS AFTER A MUD-RUN

One of the reasons I love busking is because I get lots of time to think. (Is thinking whilst thrumming multi-tasking? My thrumming is so perfunctory … and this is why busking is so simple. Obviously I do not focus on my thrums when I’m busking but none of my consumers know this. And I know they don’t know this because I receive lots of compliments on my thrumming skills.)

Busking today at VALUE VILLAGE I was woolgathering about planetary wanderlust and personal attractiveness. Hmmm … How many countries could I visit in ten years was my first train of thought … and my other train that kept stopping at the station was …

What is it, exactly, that attracts people to one another.

My thoughts, however, were interrupted by a consumer who obviously had nowhere to go and stood beside me and chatted for over half an hour. Her chat lasted only half an hour because my only recourse was to pack up and leave, which I did. (Note this course of action when you are a student in Busking 101.)

She presented a similar story as presented by a hundred other consumers in any given week. A relative of hers had schizophrenia and …. But most consumers disclose and disappear. This lady would not disappear. I do quite appreciate these consumer disclosures but … when any consumer tends to linger and linger and linger even longer, I always pack up. Factoid: It’s either pack up or be socially and inappropriately rude.

WANDERLUST

My youngest son has traveled in over 60 countries – His name is Travers and his nickname has always been Traveler (phenomenology or what?). His planetary wanderlust began when he first attended Bocconi University in Milano, Italy. After Italy he completed his Masters in Singapore and has just recently completed his PhD requirements at the University of Amsterdam. And in the meantime he was on faculty at the University of Barcelona. Enough of him … let’s just say I’m jealous of all the side trips he’s taken to sixty some countries in in the last decade.

Hmmm … my blog (this one) has a readership in 149 countries to date. Considering there are just 195 countries on the planet, this is significant to me. But even more significant if I start visiting these 149 countries right away! I NEED TO TRAVEL.

But enough of me and my planetary wanderlust; a better blog entry will be to focus on the physics of human attraction, a much more general and applicable essay than my specific selfish need to travel. One thing I’ve learned about readers and blogs is that universal themes are more popular than individual themes.

ATTRACTION

Physical attraction amongst humans is quite a beautocracy; everything is based on LOOKS. Some suggest that each of us has a ZOWIE attraction map. Obviously the face, especially the eyes come first, the hair and body follow.

Factoid: The first 90 seconds says it all and I’m not talking being liquor goggled.

Big eyes are the big attraction for faces in women; whereas, big jaws seem to be big attraction in men. Lean and muscular bodies are the most desirable trait for men and Marilyn Monroe curves seem still to be the main feature for women.

Aside from the physical traits of the alpha male being hard to resist, the social features of directness, confidence, and intensity are certainly an added grip. The physical features of seductive vamps can be bodies zaftig or svelte, with interesting hair (long and curly or short and straight), big boobs, and curves being the transfixing features.

(And a reminder that adorkable is cute, but not everlasting.)

For attractions to happen, PHYSICAL PROXIMITY is important. The person you are physically attracted to must be within range (I’m not referring to online). The person you become attracted to must be one who you can often meet with. The person you are attracted to must be convenient. The more times you see one another the more you become attracted to one another, and the more familiar you become with one another so, too, furthers the attraction.

PLATONIC LOVE

You are attracted to the person who really listens to you. Nonversations and halfalogues are not attractive, they are deal-breakers. You are attracted to the person with whom you are developing a deep emotional connection, a person you can trust with anything you say or do. PLATONIC LOVE is such an attraction.

Platonic love, I’m beginning to believe, can be the highest relational love out there. Platonic lovers share similar ages, intelligent quotients, political ideologies, and winsome whims, while also sharing the tenseness and torment of not having a physical relationship. Platonic love is ocean deep with a raging river torment. Platonic love is love that never wanes, but forever waxing. Platonic love is filled with wit, filled with laughter, and filled with great regret when apart. Platonic love is emotional love attached to the strain of a sexual desire that is never physically expressed; and when such sexual desire is finally physically expressed (and often it does) the Platonic love ends and the Eros begins.

Sadly in the apex of our middle class and cookie-cutter lives, we are sucking through straws our vanilla shakes and licking our vanilla ice cream cones in the umbra of Corporate America. Such a pedestrian social state, too, leads to certain attraction. We are attracted to people that enjoy similar activities. We are attracted to people that make us laugh! We are attracted to people with whom we have fun!

There is a certain magic in attraction. But is it magical? Two people meet and are immediately attracted to one another?

Hmmm … How many people have I met?

It’s a simple formula: Age minus your first five years times 3 new people a day (if you live in a city) times 365 days (per year) and so for me … 65 minus 5 (equals 60) times 3 new people times 365 days equals 65,700 people so far ... Love at first sight does exist (in theory), but is as frequent as being hit by a cement truck in a shopping mall.

THEREFORE ... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT DOES NOT EXIST ... (BECAUSE BEING HIT BY A CEMENT TRUCK IN A SHOPPING MALL DOES NOT EVER HAPPEN).

When not busking my favorite time to think and reflect and introspect is while I’m running. And my favorite runs are mud-runs, running on muddy hills during or immediately following a rain. FACTOID: My ideas for this particular blog entry began on a busk and ended on a mud-run. My hiking boots (I always wear heavy hiking boots when running) are pictured in the header of today’s blog.

Those marching in my CHAUCERIAN PARADE this week all happen to be athletes.