MAGIC ATTRACTIONS AND MUD-RUNS: TO LIVE IS TO LOVE

MY HIKING BOOTS AFTER A MUD-RUN

One of the reasons I love busking is because I get lots of time to think.  (Is thinking whilst thrumming multi-tasking?  My thrumming is so perfunctory … and this is why busking is so simple.  Obviously I do not focus on my thrums when I’m busking but none of my consumers know this.  And I know they don’t know this because I receive lots of compliments on my thrumming skills.) 

Busking today at VALUE VILLAGE I was woolgathering about planetary wanderlust and personal attractiveness.  Hmmm … How many countries could I visit in ten years was my first train of thought … and my other train that kept stopping at the station was …  

What is it, exactly, that attracts people to one another.

My thoughts, however, were interrupted by a consumer who obviously had nowhere to go and stood beside me and chatted for over half an hour.  Her chat lasted only half an hour because my only recourse was to pack up and leave, which I did.  (Note this course of action when you are a student in Busking 101.)

She presented a similar story as presented by a hundred other consumers in any given week.  A relative of hers had schizophrenia and …. But most consumers disclose and disappear.  This lady would not disappear.  I do quite appreciate these consumer disclosures but … when any consumer tends to linger and linger and linger even longer, I always pack up.  Factoid:  It’s either pack up or be socially and inappropriately rude.

WANDERLUST

My youngest son has traveled in over 60 countries – His name is Travers and his nickname has always been Traveler (phenomenology or what?).  His planetary wanderlust began when he first attended Bocconi University in Milano, Italy.  After Italy he completed his Masters in Singapore and has just recently completed his PhD requirements at the University of Amsterdam.  And in the meantime he was on faculty at the University of Barcelona.  Enough of him … let’s just say I’m jealous of all the side trips he’s taken to sixty some countries in in the last decade. 

Hmmm … my blog (this one) has a readership in 149 countries to date.  Considering there are just 195 countries on the planet, this is significant to me.  But even more significant if I start visiting these 149 countries right away!  I NEED TO TRAVEL.

But enough of me and my planetary wanderlust; a better blog entry will be to focus on the physics of human attraction, a much more general and applicable essay than my specific selfish need to travel.  One thing I’ve learned about readers and blogs is that universal themes are more popular than individual themes.    

ATTRACTION

Physical attraction amongst humans is quite a beautocracy; everything is based on LOOKS.  Some suggest that each of us has a ZOWIE attraction map.  Obviously the face, especially the eyes come first, the hair and body follow.

Factoid: The first 90 seconds says it all and I’m not talking being liquor goggled.

Big eyes are the big attraction for faces in women; whereas, big jaws seem to be big attraction in men.  Lean and muscular bodies are the most desirable trait for men and Marilyn Monroe curves seem still to be the main feature for women.

Aside from the physical traits of the alpha male being hard to resist, the social features of directness, confidence, and intensity are certainly an added grip.  The physical features of seductive vamps can be bodies zaftig or svelte, with interesting hair (long and curly or short and straight), big boobs, and curves being the transfixing features.

(And a reminder that adorkable is cute, but not everlasting.)

For attractions to happen, PHYSICAL PROXIMITY is important.  The person you are physically attracted to must be within range (I’m not referring to online). The person you become attracted to must be one who you can often meet with.  The person you are attracted to must be convenient.  The more times you see one another the more you become attracted to one another, and the more familiar you become with one another so, too, furthers the attraction.

PLATONIC LOVE

You are attracted to the person who really listens to you.  Nonversations and halfalogues are not attractive, they are deal-breakers.  You are attracted to the person with whom you are developing a deep emotional connection, a person you can trust with anything you say or do. PLATONIC LOVE is such an attraction.

Platonic love, I’m beginning to believe, can be the highest relational love out there. Platonic lovers share similar ages, intelligent quotients, political ideologies, and winsome whims, while also sharing the tenseness and torment of not having a physical relationship.  Platonic love is ocean deep with a raging river torment.  Platonic love is love that never wanes, but forever waxing.  Platonic love is filled with wit, filled with laughter, and filled with great regret when apart.  Platonic love is emotional love attached to the strain of a sexual desire that is never physically expressed; and when such sexual desire is finally physically expressed (and often it does) the Platonic love ends and the Eros begins.  

Sadly in the apex of our middle class and cookie-cutter lives, we are sucking through straws our vanilla shakes and licking our vanilla ice cream cones in the umbra of Corporate America.  Such a pedestrian social state, too, leads to certain attraction. We are attracted to people that enjoy similar activities. We are attracted to people that make us laugh!  We are attracted to people with whom we have fun! 

There is a certain magic in attraction.  But is it magical?  Two people meet and are immediately attracted to one another?  

Hmmm … How many people have I met? 

It’s a simple formula:  Age minus your first five years times 3 new people a day (if you live in a city) times 365 days (per year) and so for me … 65 minus 5 (equals 60) times 3 new people times 365 days equals 65,700 people so far ...  Love at first sight does exist (in theory), but is as frequent as being hit by a cement truck in a shopping mall.

THEREFORE ... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT DOES NOT EXIST ... (BECAUSE BEING HIT BY A CEMENT TRUCK IN A SHOPPING MALL DOES NOT EVER HAPPEN).

When not busking my favorite time to think and reflect and introspect is while I’m running.  And my favorite runs are mud-runs, running on muddy hills during or immediately following a rain.  FACTOID:  My ideas for this particular blog entry began on a busk and ended on a mud-run.  My hiking boots (I always wear heavy hiking boots when running) are pictured in the header of today’s blog.

Those marching in my CHAUCERIAN PARADE this week all happen to be athletes.

 

ANDEN, SON OF CHRIS FROM QUEEN CITY SUP 

MY FRIEND, DUSTIN MOLLEKEN ... BASEBALL (AND HOCKEY) GUY FROM REGINA

 

MY BEST FRIEND, COLBY WILLIAMS, IN HERSHEY

MY FAVORITE MUD-RUN

 HAPPY TRAILS TO YOU!

TIPPING POINTS: SOME ADVICE ON DOLLARS AND DESTINY

OOPS!

  

You are never under any obligation to tip just anyone standing behind or beside an open guitar case.  Busking being a subjective art form, there is really no script from which to govern when tipping the busker.

From a busker point of view, playing guitar all day can do a number on your body, especially on the back and fingers.  I try not to hunch when I play, but thirty hours per week of finger-style frails, I do get blisters on top of my calluses.

From my busker point of view, the proper etiquette for a consumer when tipping a busker:  Make eye contact, smile, toss the money into the guitar case as you walk by, or even better, stop and chat and say “thanks for the music” or “nice” or something like.  And when taking a picture of a busker always give a tip.  Not tipping after taking a picture is definitely rude.

AS IF THIS POST WOULD EVER BE ABOUT SOME TIPPING POINTS FOR A CONSUMER WHEN DECIDING THE DOLLAR AMOUNT TO TOSS INTO A BUSKER GUITAR CASE!  YIKES!

It is time to shift this discussion to DESTINY.

Destiny refers to the events that will necessarily happen, or the hidden power that will control what will happen.  Destiny refers to the inevitable, or … the irresistible.

I have a right to control my destiny and my destiny lies within my behavior.  Life is short.  Here is the existential question:  Shall I leave my troubles behind and conquer what’s rightfully mine?  Conquer what I’ve been dreaming of doing?  Knowing that as long as it’s legal, my path is rightfully mine to determine?

Ah … my imaginary destiny!  (Any exercise in imagination is good, but thinking too far ahead is just what it is … an exercise in imagination.)

Winston Churchill stated that “It is a mistake to look too far ahead.  Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.”

TIPPING POINTS

Tipping points are those points at which a series of small changes become significant enough to cause larger, more important changes.  Some tipping points are happen-chance; however, most can be quite predictable, within the realm of our imaginations, and therefore self-determined.  Take for examples those tipping points ones within the workplace, within relationships, and within yourself.  Here are some ways to create positive tipping points for each:  

• WORKPLACE

Say a cheery “good morning” to all your colleagues each and every morning.

Engage in idle chit chat when the opportunity arises.

Avoid office gossip.

If you want to lose your job, all of the above, combined with a poor performance work record, can make it happen.  True confession:  I try to do all of the above but … as for another aspect of me, I’m rather bumptious at the workplace lunch table.

• RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships always rely on lookism. One has to be physically attracted to a potential love mate, and lookism provides the first base opportunity

Focus on changing yourself, not changing your partner. You are responsible only for your behavior, not your partner’s.

Don’t assume you know your partner’s goals.  Just because you are planning to travel to Tahiti, does not mean your partner wants to do the same.  Get on the same dance card or waltz away!

Not heeding to all of the above means you are always at the whim of another.  Coupling is always a maxixe; however, if your partner is always taking the lead, it’s certainly time for confrontation or … like I stated … time to waltz away.

• SELF

Realize you are not the same person as you were “back in the day.”  Back in the day could refer the time you were married, or the time when you were a student, or the time when you first entered the work force.

In your wildest dreams, if being a world traveler is your imaginary alterity, then kick start new conversations with yourself (a daily memento of sorts to help deal with the regret and the guilt that will roll in).

You can’t pour from an empty cup.  If Europe be your lodestone, get over there fill yourself as often as you can afford it. 

BECOME THE PERSON YOU DREAM TO BE … 

IT IS ONLY UP TO YOU ... 

TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

Those marching in my CHAUCERIAN PARADE this week:

DEVON FLOYD AND SELF PLAYING AT THE COPPER KETTLE IN REGINA

SELF AT MY TRACEY'S DESK (LAST WEEK)

TRACEY GETS REVENGE!

ROLLER ROBIN (ON THE RIGHT)

FROM MY CLOSE FRIEND, CHRIS ...