Who am I?
As an
individual I am unique. I am a distinct
and authentic self that has changed myriad times since my birth.
A search for my self would uncover changes in my relationships, my career, my parenthood perhaps, my mid-life, and even my senior years – all of which being outward expressions of myself (my clothes and my car and any other possessions that have tickled my fancy that I’ve bought).
All of us,
at some point; desire to break free from something, to free ourselves of our
parents, our spouse, our job, all in the guise of searching for our true
selves. Each of us is, indeed, a unique
and complete set of complicated experiences canned in a singular self. And no matter where we are in our lives, we
are still and always experiencing something.
In a line, as long as we are quick, we are a work in progress.
Two articles
in the paper today stopped me, Hair
tattoo restores pride and follicles and At
43, too old to be sexy? (Regina
Leader Post, Saturday, December-27-14).
The hair
tattoo article is about ink, handmade from charcoal, being injected (tattooed)
on follicle at a time onto a bald person’s scalp and voila … hair
apparent! Micropigmentation looks like hair and gives people back their
confidence, states the tattoo artist.
In the other
article Jon Hamm (Don Draper of Mad Men) says he is too old to be a really big star.
He considers his 43 years of age to be over the hill.
Both these
newspaper articles suggest that how we allow ourselves to be seen and
experienced by others is significant.
The fear of being found out, of being known as a fraud or a fake is
very, very important.
Well, I’m
not bald and I’m not 43. I’ve still a
thick head of hair and I’m 63 and I know (finally) that quality begins on the
inside. Any search for our quality self
ought to start from within through
reflection and introspection, then searching without through our relationships and actions.
A search for
our self, will demand searching within
and without our self, and will humor both
the ideas of Erik Erikson and Sigmund Freud, noted pioneers in the search for
self-identity. Erikson, a student of
Freud, believed social interactions guided our behaviors; whereas, Freud, his teacher,
believed biological instincts to be the driving force. It’s not a stretch to believe that our
behaviors are prompted by both theories.
And it’s not a stretch to believe that our behavior is
synonymous with our personality.
Let me
explain. Our selves have both a BODY and
a MIND.
For a simple
BODY definition, our living body is a continuity of physical substance, ever
changing over the course of our lifetime as our body ages (in years) and grows
(in girth).
For a simple
MIND definition, our active mind is an imaginary substance, from which we
project our mental states, our cognitive faculties, values, and beliefs.
Generally it
is agreed that the male body is one of three types: Ectomorph, Endomorph, and mesomorph. The skinny guy is an ectomorph; the fat guy an
endomorph; the muscular guy a mesomorph.
Generally it
is in sexist agreement that the female body, too, is one of three types: Straight, Pear, and Curvy. The woman who is chunky with narrow shoulders and the big
bum who is built for comfort is a pear. The girl who is stick skinny and built for speed is a
straight. That hourglass babe with
big boobs and comparatively large hips is a curvy (see
Marilyn Monroe 36-24-36).
Generally it is agreed that we are either introverted or extroverted. Introverts are those working in the back rooms of libraries, or in the upper rooms in lighthouses. Extroverts are those working in the people service industries or in high pressure sales.
Introverts do not like mingling with other humans; whereas, extroverts love to mingle. Introverts are quiet. Extroverts are noisy. Introverts are reserved. Extroverts are reckless.
This is fine and good, but our real selves go beyond body and mind. Our body and mind mixed together make up our personality. Perhaps the numerical formula is BODY plus MIND equals PERSONALITY.
PERSONALITY is the individual differences in individual character patterns of our thinking and behaving. Generally, it is agreed that there are mainly four PERSONALITY types: TYPE A, TYPE B, TYPE C, and TYPE D. (Obviously, the Abecedarians love the simplicity tags.)
TYPE A people are those who are considered controlling and impatient. “A” people are angst ridden, always agitated, and never really relaxed. TYPE A’s are a pain in the ass.
TYPE B people are considered casual and relaxed. “B” people are easy-going, ever-patient, and very likeable. TYPE B’s are perceived to lack professionalism and as a result, seldom taken seriously.
TYPE C people seem always concerned about being correct. “C” people are detail orientated and picky, picky, picky. TYPE C’s are those little dog bosses that continuously nip at your ankles.
TYPE D people love to follow routine. “D” people are most comfortable doing the same things over and over again. TYPE D’s are on snooze dial and are boring, boring, and more boring.
Who am I?
To close my usual oneversation by being my narcissistic self, I shall answer the opening question that I posed at the beginning of this blog entry.
I am what I seem to be as continuously depicted in my blog each week. Firstly, I am a high school guidance counselor, and have been plying this trade for over twenty-five years. Working in a high school keeps me a-go-go and energized.
Secondly, I am a sessional university instructor of Psychology, and have pretended to be an academic for over fifteen years. Teaching at the university keeps me studying and writing.
Thirdly, I am a private practitioner for Psychological counseling/consulting, and as of late, HYPNOTHERAPY. Being a hypnotherapist keeps me mysterious.
Fourthly, and most importantly I am a guitar and pencil busker. Few things for me are more pleasing and adventurous than strumming and singing solo on a downtown sidewalk, and hearing the constant clunking of coins as they are tossed into my open guitar case. Equally delightful is penciling a stranger’s portrait onto my sketchpad, then wrapping it with a rubber band and exchanging it for a ten dollar bill. (Ofttimes I think that my guitar and pencil busking stories are designed complex Aesopian tales to promote my Psychology practices with my sidequest authority.)
I do know for certain that to be employed in all of the above does take stamina (I work out in the gym every day) and extroversion (I do need to communicate and perceived by my consumers to be likeable).
And from being in all of the above I know that NO ONE WANTS TO BE ADORKABLE. I know that EVERYONE, FROM THE PESSIMISTIC CHUNK TO THE OPTIMISTIC HUNK, WANTS TO LOOK GOOD.
I know that OUR WORLD IS A BEAUTOCRACY.
My searches
for self in all of the above activities, in all the right places, make me happy
and who I am. And …
It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy (Lucille Ball).
It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy (Lucille Ball).
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